I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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