How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize