Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize