I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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