mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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