How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize