after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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