dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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