I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize