Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize