Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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