look no pants
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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