I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The air was thick with penises
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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