Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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