so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize