ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
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I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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