I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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