My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize