I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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