I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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