fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize