Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
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You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
MIDGETS
????
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize