He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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