come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
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This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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