Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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