READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize