do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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