Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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