this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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