dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize