My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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