I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize