But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
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Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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