I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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