hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize