Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
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I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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