i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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