guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize