Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize