You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How does it feel to date your dad?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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