You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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