If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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