The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
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It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
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I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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