I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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