Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I love you. Go after that dick
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