I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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