Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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