Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
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so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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