Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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