I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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